Sunday, July 17, 2011

Liquid Nitrogen, Scumbag Locals, & Erupting Volcanoes

Warning: it’s only the end of this long blog where I go Rated-R to talk about something amazing I saw last night; I’ll tell you when that time arises if you prefer not to read it. It’s something so astonishing to me I had to post this a day early.

So, what an interesting week. I’ll say that Monday was dull but Tuesday I went to Winter Garden Village, as once again it was time to help out that person with updating their iPod; I’m starting to think I use it more than they do! I did that at Barnes & Noble and to reveal my snobby side I went in their DVD section and saw they had some Criterion stuff on sale so I picked up a disc. Despite that, I just didn’t feel so great on this day for whatever reason. Then again, while there have been some entertaining moments this month, there have also been some blah moments, and the little bad things cumulating equals a not so cheery Blairpac. For example, on this night I heard that a forum I like posting on* was going to close down soon because of server issues, basically. I was not too happy about that. However, forum members donated so much money that at least for the time being it’ll remain open. Also, as of the past few weeks I’ve had some odd dreams. I wouldn’t call them “nightmares”; they’ve just been strange. Hell, recently I had a dream involving Minka Kelly and normally I’d enjoy that… from what I remember of the dream, though, it wasn’t the type of fantasy with her that I would have liked!

• Yeah, the same moment with that one girl who thought about ending her life. Speaking of that, I noticed that recently she logged on, so at least I know she’s still alive, even if she doesn’t post there.

Wednesday, the only thing I did was go to the dentist* so I’ll mention before anyone asks the whole situation with that Florida independent wrestling show dedicated to the late Macho Man Randy Savage that turned into a fustercluck. As someone who used to go to those indy shows often in this state, how that show turned out is more the exception than the norm. Sure, the shows can do some things badly, but not to such a degree that the promoter runs out and doesn’t pay anyone while claiming he was suffering a heart attack. That promoter in question, Dino Puglia, he’s someone who I don’t believe has promoted shows in Florida before. He was on the periphery wanting to get involved as a ring announcer, that sort of thing. He turned a lot of people off in the past with the odd way he acted, and that doesn’t even take into account something that someone dug up about Puglia, which is… he’s apparently a fan of big hairy men! I don’t care that he’s a homosexual at all but indy pro wrestling is REALLY like high school, so you can imagine what the reaction was.

• It was minor, but I still received some nitrous oxide. Good stuff! Yeah, the beginning of The Hangover Part II with Phil asking Stu the dentist for some nitrous oxide and then a prescription of Vicodin did remind me of me… OK, so not that much. I don’t want anyone to think I have any sort of problem here with painkillers!

Anyhow, he advertised the show on the local messageboards and everyone knew it was going to be poor and the general reaction was for fans not to attend the event. How poor it was surprised even me, with Dino saying he’s giving money to charities that he never contacted beforehand to ask if he could use their names, not paying the talent, putting on an embarrassingly amateur production… everyone on the boards groaned with how it turned out. Well, I also ended up being shocked with how big of a story this turned out to be, with it being talked about in the newspapers around Tampa and then it even ended up on Deadspin. I hate that website as it’s total garbage but it’s still a sports website a lot of people look at, and at least Dino Puglia is getting a strong dose of karma here for using such a famous name to try and get attendance, and what a disaster it turned out to be. Trust me, from the shows I’ve gone to in Illinois and in Florida, what happened here is NOT what the typical independent wrestling show is like. The archetypal indy event is definitely better than this. And, there are local feds which donate money to charity and as far as I know, all of them do fulfill that promise.

Thursday, I went with someone I know to a pair of spots in Clermont. First, for dinner we went to Perkin’s as we hadn’t been there in awhile, and the last time, not too many people were around. It was the same this time, so I thought it was a good idea to show them some love. I can tell you that their big Belgian waffle was pretty tasty. It had powdered sugar on it, and whipped cream & butter were also involved, and I highly recommend that. After Perkin’s, we went to a new place a few miles from where I live called Abracadabra Ice Cream Company, a joint my pal heard about before me. Their gimmick is that they offer up LIQUID NITROGEN ICE CREAM. If I’m lying, I’m dying. How they do it is that some liquid is put into a bowl and then they shoot liquid nitrogen into it, instantly freezing it and creating a lot of steam. That bowl is then put in a larger bowl of warm water in order to warm it up. It’s then put into a cup for you to eat. Wacky, but pretty cool. Also, pretty tasty.

So, I’ll tell you guys now that the rest of this blog will be lewd and thus Rated-R. I’ll be back Monday the 25th with whatever adventures I can find myself involved with.

My Friday only consisted of returning to the local Barnes & Noble to buy something else and then going to Planet Smoothie to use up a coupon I have from there (I had the greatly named Grape Ape) so let me move on to Saturday and… Mako’s! I hadn’t been there for the past two months so I figured this would be the perfect time to go. Boy was I right.

• For the most part it was the usual there, with the assorted wackiness, the attractive lady employees walking around, various games being played, and what have you. It was nice to experience that again.
• One thing new to me, though, was that something got lit on FIRE. I wasn’t close to it so I wasn’t sure why I saw flames shoot up high on the top of a bar counter, but I did.
• I missed the memo, but apparently it was 80’s Night throughout downtown Orlando, so I saw a percentage of outfits from that coke-fueled decade, from Miami Vice-inspired garb to hair metal outfits. I was sad I wasn’t able to wear something like that in public.
• Early on, one lady literally played grab-ass with me. I turned around and it was one of a few ladies. Now, I know all of them were ladies, so it wasn’t a transsexual sort of thing, thankfully! It’s just that none of the females were appealing to me so I didn’t try to figure out who it was, as shallow as it may sound.
• As I wasn’t able to tip one of the shooter girls there (you know, the ladies that walk around selling test tube shots of various liquors) when she asked me later on if I wanted to enjoy a body shot with her, I said yes. So, I got to see her in a bikini on the bar shaking her goods and then I had a shot that was placed in her cleavage. That didn’t suck!
• I saw an incredible incident (more on that in a bit) and after that, I spent much of my time in the pentagon bar area (called that as before it was remodeled earlier this year, it had that shape) before I took off.
• It figures on this crazy night that I’d almost literally walk in on a near-fight, but that’s exactly what happened. All I saw was an angry guy get pulled away from another guy, and much yelling and bally-hoo took place.
• So, this incredible incident that took place which necessitated me having to go adult here… during my time there, I saw a couple making out, and that was standard. A little later, the dude was sitting on a stool by the pentagon bar area, and I saw them continuing to make out, and thought nothing of it… even when it got to the dry-humping. Then it got a little more hot and heavy and I got suspicious, so I continued to watch like a pervert. I then briefly saw that the guy had an EXPOSED erect penis! I swear to the Holy Ghost, this is true. How this happened with only me and a few people (as I later found out) noticing this taking place, I don’t know, but then I saw some obvious hand motions, and if it isn’t bad enough that he was getting a handjob in public, I then saw her head bob up and down… yes, a blowjob! I was-and am-flabbergasted that I saw them engage in SEX out in the open like that. Before the volcano erupted-at least I presume he didn’t pop his cookies-a friend of the girl grabbed her and off the couple went, but not before the guy pulled his pants up, buttoned and then zipped them (proving what I saw wasn’t a bizarre hallucination). Again, how this happened without them getting into trouble and getting kicked out by the Mako’s stuff is a real miracle. Hopefully they went to a private room where Mt. Vesuvius can finally erupt for the guy.
• The only time I can recall seeing something that blatant was way back when I was at a Service Industry Night party at the House of Blues at Walt Disney World and I saw a couple and the girl was guiding the guy’s hand towards a certain spot that was up her skirt… and she was enjoying where that guy’s hand was. Me and some random guys spent some time watching that action!

So, how was your night last night?

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