Monday, August 26, 2013

Walmart Country Bumpkins, Purple Pills, & Fat Kids W/ Stringy Mullets

What an up and down week I had. Last Monday, I saw quite the amazing thing at Walmart; even for Walmart it was incredible. I went there to pick up a few items, which is what I did. All the registers were full so I decided to try and find one that had a short line. I did find one... and it was an older woman who, well, looked like she was from the backwoods of Lake County, Florida. I am just saying that as an observation. She also had TWO shopping cards jam-packed with items, and almost all of it was cheap random crap, from a mop to kids sandals, a pair of sunglasses and other miscellaneous items that I can't figure how they tie together, and who exactly all those items were for; how many people does she live with, I have no idea. I was fascinated to see how much all that crap cost when the most expensive item was a small vacuum cleaner. Turns out, it costs $631.19! Amazing. Even better, she paid all but 300 bucks of the bill with a credit card; the rest of it was paid with 3 one hundred dollar bills. Only at a Walmart.

Tuesday, I went with someone to Olive Garden as hey, they were offering their sometimes deal of a never-ending pasta bowl and I did take advantage of that. Wednesday was dull, so Thursday... apparently this day was “Treat Blair Like Crap And Disrespect Him For No Reason Day” and I did not get the memo and I had to figure it out on my own. I had free time so I returned to Walt Disney World. A humblebrag, that it is. I had to make sure that my new annual pass worked, as when I got it the previous week, my old pass was still active for a few days after that. Yeah, it does work.

I went to the Magic Kingdom. I went on a few rides and that was nice. Sure, I got annoyed by some of the people there, but that always happens at WDW. Having a park employee totally disrespect you, though... not cool. I'll spare you the long story and just say that I should have let that fat toad know how I felt about his asshole ways. At least for the most part I still had a decent time there. I left the park to go home but I stopped at one of the Hess gas stations they have on property. I went in to get a drink; they had a Coca Cola Freestyle machine so it was all the better. I got some other small items and I went up to pay. The individual they had at the cash register... not to be a jerk but it's no wonder he works at a place like a gas station! Problem is, he doesn't even have the intellect or math skills to realize when the amount I have to pay is obviously wrong, as it was in this case. I eventually showed him the error of my ways but this cretin also disrespected me and said, “Oh, the cash register is never wrong”, as if I was stupid for doubting what it said when he was the dumbsh*t that couldn't punch in correctly what I wanted to purchase. Maybe he should be digging ditches as that seems most suited for his brainpower.

Friday I did not do anything except have an odd dream where for reasons unknown for me the D12 song Purple Pills was heard in the dream (pretty strange) so onto Saturday, and things did not turn out as planned but aside from even more tools, it was a fine day. I went up to Sanford as it's a town north of Orlando I usually do not spend a lot of time in due to distance away from where I live. Someone I know was going to have an annual get-together at a German restaurant. The plans ended up changing at the last minute, but for more than understandable reasons and I'll leave it vague like that. I did go to a MovieStop in Sanford to get some used (and one new) DVD's/Blu-Rays. I walked around the Seminole Town Center Mall and I had dinner there via A&W. Also while I was there, I saw a fat teenage boy with an incredible stringy mullet! It was quite the sight.

After that I drove to the Altamonte Mall and stayed there for a short while before leaving and I stopped to get gas before I made it home. At the Altamonte Mall, though, I saw another example where I wonder why “the young people” are so damn stupid these days. It was three boys who looked to be about 13 or 14 and one boy who was afew years older and I presume he drove them to the mall. Anyhow, the boys all made loud animal noises! True story. I did give them dirty looks as it was well-deserved.

Sunday was a typical Sunday for me in that I stayed in and did nothing... although I saw something online that shocked even cynical me. Don't ask where I saw this but somewhere on the Internet I saw a teenage girl use the word “upsest” and I was completely befuddled. Then, looking at context clues, I figured out she meant “obsessed”. Upsest! That is incredible. I have to make clear that I do NOT know this girl, thank the heavens.

For the upcoming week, I do not have much planned at all. I am sure I'll stumble into some things worth talking about.

Monday, August 19, 2013

The Blog Where I Went To Hulk Hogan's Stores & Paid $4.80 To See KISS Perform

There was one afternoon of Hulk Hogan related activities and that was when I was over in the Tampa-St. Petersburg area, but I'll get to that in a bit, then explained how I saw a legendary band perform for less than 5 bucks. First, I'll talk about what I did last Monday; that was the day I went to Walt Disney World (heh heh heh) to renew my annual pass, to do some humblebragging. I went to the Animal Kingdom to have it done, as it's been too long since I was last there. I paid the money then I spent a few hours in a really hot place. At least it was not too crowded there and I got to go on rides and look at various exotic animals. Right before I left I found a small indoors spot (by Asia) which sells Minute Maid Soft Frozen treats; the one I had was Orangeade and it was awesome! It was like nectar from the Gods and it was so good, and it really hit the spot.

Tuesday I did nothing so I'll mention that on Wednesday I went and got a haircut, as I did need one. That wasn't different from the norm. I went to the nearby Target, where I got a shirt and a 20 ounce bottle of Coke.

Thursday, that's when the action began. I went to Tampa-St. Petersburg, and besides going to see the Tampa Bay Rays play against the Seattle Mariners, I went to two places that are Hulk Hogan themed; as The Hulkster lives in the area, that's why there are places named after him. I drove to Tampa to Hogan's Beach, which is a bar-restaurant literally right by the water (Old Tampa Bay), connected to a Best Western Hotel resort. I heard less than rave reviews about it but I. Then, I drove over to Hogan's Beach Shop, which is over at Clearwater Beach. The name says it all. The bar/restaurant was fine. It has a red/yellow motif-but of course-and I have no complaints about the burger and fries I had. I chose to drink a lemonade, in order to stay hydrated. There was memorabilia all over including a glorious painting of the cast of Santa With Muscles, a movie starring Hogan and I've heard it's mind-boggingly bad. I then through rainy weather (yes, in that part of Florida it's also true that when there's water on the ground, driver IQ's become even lower than usual) went to Hogan's Beach Shop. It's a small place which mainly sells t-shirts and it also has memorabilia hanging all over the place. I did get a yellow shirt; you've probably heard at least some of the bad things that has happened in the personal life of The Hulkster the past few years; he could use the money! I then drove to Tropicana Field and stopped for gas along the way.

I parked in a random spot I found where the price was fair and it was not far from the stadium at all. The guy who was running the deal, he asked if I needed tickets so I looked at what he had. It wasn't what I had in mind so I respectfully declined; he got all huffy and puffy about it and I was disappointed he got pissy about it when I was real nice in declining his offer. Figures.

In hindsight, maybe I should have given that dude some money. I decided to get an outfield ticket as I only sat in that area once before and it was a fine-enough time. This time... there were decent people around but there were also people I'd put in the Troglodyte category; from stupid parents and dumb yelling kids to the worst, which was two young douche A-holes who drank alcohol and they ended up acting like complete tools, and the type of people that were just rude jerks who loved yelling the most inane crap and they targeted a Seattle player in the outfield just because he was the nearest Seattle person in the outfield. Cretins! Besides their rudeness, I was appalled they would act this way when there were children around AND there was usually a security guard around but he apparently didn't care about some loudmouthed bozos ruining the experience for who knows how many people.

At least it was a fun game to watch as Tampa Bay kicked some ass and won 7-1 and there were some nice performances. But I would have preferred sitting in another section; in the future I should stick to the cheap upper deck tickets where the views are actually nice.

Friday, I was not expecting to do anything; I figured I would relax and take it easy. My plans pretty much changed at the last minute. Someone I know online (and have met in person a few times now) mentioned on Twitter that he discovered how a Friday night concert in Orlando at the big arena (the Amway Center) was offering FREE tickets via Ticketmaster and due to the band it piqued my interest. I looked it up and yes, they were “free”. There were the legendary Ticketmaster fees but even with those, it meant I got to see KISS perform for only 4 dollars and 80 cents! Amazing. The reason why there's a big concert on that night... the Arena Football League championship was being played the next afternoon in the same building. As KISS is far and above anyone else in history when it comes to licensing their image and name out for a buck, next season there will be an Arena Football League team named after the band. Really. It was nice being back in that nice arena as I've only been in it a few times before.

I am not someone who really goes to concerts in general, especially big ones. The last one of note was The Rolling Stones and that was in Tampa way back in October of 2005; that was a quality time but trust me, a ticket for that was way more than $4.80! Yes, I did pay for other things, such as parking, food & drink and the obligatory concert t-shirt. The shirt I picked was the wackiest one; the band has a new album entitled Monster; apparently, the title creature is a giant metal spider with purple eyes, as that's what was on the shirt, with a cityscape in the background. It is as awesome as it sounds so of course I had to get it. I did not see them right away but two of the people working at the shirt table... Toadies! Thankfully I did not have to interact with them.

Anyhow, even with the free tickets, it was not a sold out show. From where I sat in the upper deck, the floor and lower bowl was mostly filled but there were plenty of empty seats in the upper deck and I hardly had anyone around me. The opening act was three guys from London known as Leogun. They were a fine opening act for the half hour they played and the crowd seemed to enjoy them. There was about a half hour break then KISS came out.

Sure, it's only Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley now as for about the past 10 years Ace Frehley and Peter Criss were replaced by Eric Singer and Tommy Thayer; Eric and Tommy are fine musicians and all but it's not the same as having the original four together, you know. As they are pretty much an oldies act now (honestly, they first formed FORTY years ago; no kidding), aside from some material from their new album and the one from a few years ago, the rest of their setlist for the almost 2 hours they played was what you'd expect if you know what their most famous songs are throughout their history. They opened with Psycho Circus and their last song is their best-known one. They sounded good and of course the fans there loved the show. I had a good time for sure. As you'd expect with such an extravagant band, the stage was fancy, with a big videoscreen and a lot of lights and things exploding and pyro and ballyhoo. The big thing was part of the stage that had some lights and it sometimes lowered up and down as if it was a metal spider; part of it was also a platform that the band would sometimes be on. It was cool and it was great seeing them for less than 5 bucks.

After that, as I was already in downtown Orlando, why not go to Ghost Bar & Lounge? I stopped by the car on the way there so I could change into the KISS concert t-shirt; some people did note it and they briefly chatted with me about the band and the concert. Other than that, it was the typical time there, where I sat down and either looked at what they had on the TV's or was amused by what the drunk white people were doing. Of course there was my favorite thing, which was Drunk White People Dancing! That is always good for laughs, especially if the white person is pretty hammered. For you current WWE fans, there was an older gentleman in attendance who looked like what you'd imagine Bray Wyatt's dad to be, from his clothing to his face. I don't mean Mike Rotuna (i.e. IRS, who is legit Bray's dad), but rather he wore a flowery shirt and a similar style hat to Bray and he was also a husky dude, no pun intended for you hardcore wrestling fans.

My weekend was dull as I just stayed in and relaxed; appropriate after the Thursday and Friday I had. I did see the free UFC event on Saturday and that was some quality entertainment overall. So, I'll end this here and mention that for the blog I post a week from today, it most likely won't be quite like what I talked about now, but I do know of an event or two I'll be doing.

Monday, August 12, 2013

The Blog Where I Conjure Up A Trip To Wingstop

Yeah, this will be not one of my more entertaining blogs. It was longer than I expected (insert your own jokes), but it certainly isn't as colorful as the last one I posted.

Monday, it was a typical Monday for me, meaning it was dull. So, let me mention the most interesting vehicles I witnessed. Tuesday I was out and about and while still in Clermont I saw my first Jaguar F-Type. You've likely seen the commercials for the new convertible that can cost 100,000 bucks or more. It's a great-looking vehicle. It's a shame that by the way he was driving, the operator of that car was a complete tool. I saw another Mitsubishi iMiEV driving about, and also another Tesla Model S.

Tuesday, while I was driving around the eastern area of the metro Orlando area, for the first time I drove through the neighborhoods of Winter Park, which is a city filled with rich people. I went past many fancy houses/mansions and it's no surprise that I would see an Aston Martin convertible drive by. I was in the area as first I drove to Winter Park as I needed a fix of good old Rocket Fizz, and I picked up some more gourmet soda. I got a cold one from the fridge and once again it was Sprecher Soda Strawberry, as they only offer it cold and it's excellent. The other ones I got out of the 12 included a “Prickly Pear” flavored beverage and candy cane flavored soda. After that I drove to the Altamonte Mall, where I roamed around there for a bit and I did purchase something from Barnes & Noble.

Then, I ate dinner at a Wingstop restaurant. Their name says it all when it comes to their cuisine. I had eaten there once or twice before but not at that particular location, which opened not that long ago. It wasn't that close to me which is why I haven't been there more often. The boneless wings & fries I got were tasty, but there was a table of three people and all of them were pretty loathsome. They were LOUD and they acted pretty stupid all around from the attitudes to what they said and how despite them being LOUD you often heard, “Huh?” or “What?” as somehow they could not hear each other even though it was far from loud in them besides those three cretins... and unfortunately that wasn't the last time I had to deal with stupid people in a pubic place and I don't mean the usual bad Florida traffic.

Wednesday and Thursday were pretty dull so let me mention one rather colorful and vulgar spam e-mail I got. I'll just give its title: “Cockzilla Is The Word”. Really. What a way to be reminded of the Grease title song. Now, I've never seen the movie in full but I do know the song from Frankie Valli.

Friday, I did return to a familiar haunt for me: the open air mall known as Winter Garden Village. Summer days in Florida do make me wish it was an indoor mall. Walking around it in the afternoon in the 90's... a sweaty experience. I did get items from Target and Best Buy before purchasing a cool beverage from Planet Smoothie; it was the last of their limited edition beverages for me to try, the oh so manly sounding Strawberry Colada. Hey, it was good!

Saturday, I went to the local cineplex to watch The Conjuring, finally. Despite a less than ideal audience experience, I really enjoyed the movie and it was as good as I had heard from both hardcore horror fans and the more casual folks who enjoy scares on the big screen. I won't reveal much except that it does seem like something from the 70's, and not just because it was set in the 70's. It's one of the best movies period I have seen this year, and that is in any genre. I just wish that amongst the larger than expected crowd, I did not have to deal with yappers, people using what I'll say are “dumbphones” for them (honestly, you can't stay off your phone for 2 whole hours, you Cro-Magnon idiots?) and the first case of a phenomenon known on a podcast as “Narrating Old People”, which I'll call “Narrating Grandparents”. Besides them being dumb and not very courteous in general, early on in the movie you see the family move into the house where all the S goes down, and the dog won't go in as it senses the spirits. This is obvious, and yet one Old Person loudly said to another, “The dog won't go in the house!” No shit, Sherlock. What was the need to tell multiple people of this obvious visual cue? That is one of many reasons why I am not a people person.

Sunday was a day of relaxation so I'll end this blog here. Like I said, when I return next Monday it'll be more interesting.

Monday, August 5, 2013

The Blog Where I Had An Incredibly Awkward Saturday Night

Here's a recap in what I've done in the past week. Monday the 29th I did not do a damn thing. But, in the late night I was surprised by a big propane plant explosion that happened in the town of Tavares, which is a city that is like a half hour from where I live and a town I've driven through a number of times before. I am amazed the human toll of the accident wasn't far worse given how bad it looked from pictures and videos. Tuesday was dull so let me skip ahead to Wednesday.

Wednesday, I went to Walt Disney World. Heh heh heh. Actually, it's funny that I use such a joke, as the person I know online who lives in Illinois and I used that joke when I talked to her... for reasons, I haven't talked to her in years. Disappointing, but leave the memories alone! Anyhow, I went to Hollywood Studios as I haven't been there in awhile. It was hotter than the dickens there; in fact, I was sweating like a whore in church! I at least got some exercise in and I went on several rides. I also had dinner there. I plan on being back at Walt Disney World sometime in August and I'll go to another park... maybe the Animal Kingdom.

Thursday and Friday were dull, so I'll mention some of the interesting vehicles I've seen as of late. Just a few days ago I saw in the neighborhood a rare sight in 2013, which is a 70's Toyota Corolla wagon, and it was a brownish color. I once again saw a Tesla Model S and a Fiat 500L on the road. I did see something for the first time; I saw it in the other lane and I had no idea what it was from the front. Once it passed by I realized it was the electric car known as the Mitsubishi iMiEV; with what they've been doing in recent years I am surprised that Mitsubishi still sells cars in North America.

Saturday... oh what a night this was. I went to the local Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the UFC fights on FX and then the pay per view itself. The card from top to bottom was fine, and that was it. I won't say anything more about that, except that the people who were in attendance at BWW were into the show, which isn't always the case for even the big events. I do have to talk about something that was highly unusual. I arrived around 8 and I was drinking beer and watching the FX stuff. Suddenly I hear a blonde yell out to the bartender, “My guy friend got laid!” Yeah, she was drunk. The bartender I had known from the past and I hadn't had her wait on me for a long while. To make it clear, it wasn't the blonde who had sex with the guy friend. I am certain of that from what else I overheard in the conversation. Not that much later, that blonde invited me over; it was her and a guy she introduced as “her hubby”; I later heard they actually weren't married, but that caused confusion later on and made me think I was in an incredibly uncomfortable situation.

Pretty soon, this woman was real touchy-feely and she was doing this right in front of what I thought was her husband but in actuality was just some friend... and a guy she constantly emasculated right in front of me! I have no idea why she had such a problem with the dude but she did. She often cussed him out, dropping many F-bombs and even gave him the finger. Imagine what I was thinking when I thought they were married... a married woman was flirting with me in front of her husband and she preferred me to the husband and he stood there and take it! Like I said, I felt incredibly awkward. Oh, and she coerced me to chug a pair of margaritas with her. I was flattered by the attention but I did not find it appealing how she was treating that dude.

I really did not find it appealing when I saw her pull out a can of Skoal dipping tobacco and then started dipping and spitting! I think that cigarettes are pretty gross and chewing tobacco is even worse. I had enough of that lady and her arguing with that guy so when they went outside and she wanted me to join them, I refused. After that I only saw her one other time and that was cashing out and leaving... with someone completely different. I imagine she wasn't happy with me at that point, but I would have preferred it if she was nicer and wasn't a mean drunk.

Oh, and during the latter part of my time there, some random people sat by me and they began smoking something and I have no idea what it was. It was a portable device which looked like something you'd hold an e-cigarette in but it blew out flavored smoke as if you were smoking from a hookah. I am stumped as to what it was, but apparently it's OK to smoke it indoors.

Sunday was a dull day of rest so let me mention something. I know I've mentioned before how I've never watched Shark Week and I don't get why it's so popular. Well, I think that it finally has... jumped the shark. Sunday night they showed a documentary about what if there was a giant shark that still exists despite there being no evidence of it AND the species has been extinct for millions of years... that and there being a nightly talk show called Shark After Dark is a good sign of this, and that's just Sunday. Today, I saw that tonight's offerings were Voodoo Shark, where they talk about a legend that sounds like something from a SyFy Channel movie, and something called Sharkzilla: Sharktweeto. I have no idea what that's about and I'd prefer it that way, although I can imagine there being a Sharknado 2: Sharktweeto.

This upcoming week, besides not watching Shark Week, I have nothing planned yet. I have an idea or two but nothing is set in stone. Next week should be more exciting than this one, as I already have more than one thing planned for that. Still, I'll try to do things worth talking about.