Monday, December 26, 2011

Blair’s Super Spectacular Mega Christmas Dubstep Blog

I figured a blog posted a day after Christmas should get a wacky title like that. Sure, my actual Christmas wasn’t too exciting aside from what I did in the evening, but it was still a nice day and I’ll always have fond memories of Christmas from my days as a kid.

Monday the 19th was boring so I’ll skip ahead to the 20th. I decided to attend the college bowl game in St. Petersburg at Tropicana Field known cleverly as the St. Petersburg Bowl (I won’t list its corporate name). I was at the game in ’09 between UCF and Rutgers and while the game wasn’t the best the whole experience was a good time with the fans being into the spectacle, the bands playing music, people dancing around, and all that jazz. I could have done without people being stupid and arguing with each other, but otherwise I had a good time there. This edition of the bowl was Marshall, from West Virginia, vs. the school located in the southern part of Miami known as Florida International University. To delve into some dork talk, a conference that was supposed to send a team to the game wasn’t able to so they picked FIU as at least they are a state team and believe me, more important than anything else (including team and game quality) is having the “right” team go there in order to get many fans to go to the city and spend money there and then attend the game.

Before I even got to St. Petersburg, I decided to take a different way to the city rather than I-4; that stretch of road from Orlando to Tampa is almost always pretty brutal unless it’s late in the evening. I instead went west on 50 before making it to Toll Road 589. Sure, I paid a few bucks on tolls but the road itself wasn’t too busy until you got to Tampa, and it was less stressful than a typical I-4 drive. I stopped in Clearwater and a few places before making it to Tropicana Field. The main place was having dinner at Quaker Steak & Lube, a place I had been to once before down here in Florida. That Clearwater restaurant is the only restaurant they have in this state. I had my almost-always of a burger and fries; it was fine. I sat at the bar but I swear I just had a soda to drink. Some dudes were also eating at the bar and they had some wings. One guy decided to try out their hottest wings, the Triple Atomic. At least one was left over so I was asked if I wanted one. Given that the menu listed how hot the sauces were and the mild was listed as 740 on the Scoville Heat Units scale (the way how heat in food is measured) while the Triple Atomic was (no kidding) 500,000! I don’t eat foods that are too hot in general, and something that nuclear would just be bad news for me… and imagine it coming on the way out… plus, he actually had to sign a waiver (!) before eating those wings.

But anyhow, that guy had it and he tried to play it as cool as he could (in all senses of the term); you knew that he had to be hurting. Thus, I made the right decision there. After that it wasn’t long before I parked for the game; as I’ve done before the lot that’s on the corner of MLK Drive and 4th Avenue South is a nice place to leave your car, as it’s cheaper than parking at the stadium, it’s close by and best of all it’s right by an Interstate.

The experience at the game… it wasn’t quite the same as in ’09 but it was still an entertaining time. There seemed to be almost equal number of FIU and Marshall fans. I imagine those folks from West Virginia were happy to escape the cold and enjoy the warm weather. I got a shirt (as I did in ’09) and it looked chinsy compared to the ’09 one, but it was still fine-enough for me. The ticketing was different this time around so I sat in the upper deck, an area familiar to me at The Trop. There was plenty of empty seats by me so while that was nice, it meant there aren’t really any interesting stories to tell about the crowd in my general area. There was little in the way of whining and complaining and stupid behavior; I appreciated that quite a bit.

The game itself was no gridiron classic by any means. The offenses of both teams were so bad at times that it reminded me of the Bears teams of this year and past years! Marshall ended up winning 20-10. The attendance wasn’t all that great; at least the people there were happy to make enough noise. Despite the game being less than thrilling there was enough to keep me entertained. Besides seeing the image on the videoboard of a Marshall fan giving the camera the double middle fingers, there was a brief fight between a pair of football players right at the end of the game, which made me laugh.

Oh, and another great videoboard image was seeing a Marshall fan put up a sign plugging ESPN which also had a witty statement. The sign was to put down the Golden Panthers of FIU… or rather, “Panters”. Yes, the sign said “Panters”. Insert your own jokes about the state of West Virginia if you wish.

So, overall I had a fun time. It was nice being back at The Trop and it was also nice being in that area of Florida; I don’t get out that way too often anymore.

Wednesday was boring so I’ll skip ahead to Thursday. I went all the way to Deltona to watch a movie. I went to a new joint (run by Epic Theatres) that just opened the day before. They were showing the 4th Mission Impossible film on a giant screen comparable to the IMAX screens they have now at many AMC Theatres locations. The movie is what you’d expect: the plot is secondary to the action stuff, and the action stuff does deliver. It was a more satisfying spy story than what I saw in Quantum of Solace, that’s for damn sure. On the way back home I stopped for a bite to end at the Altamonte Mall; it was as chaotic there as you’d expect. On the way back I got a huge laugh: some idiot blew by me on the highway going way too fast. Soon after that, a cop noticed that guy's driving so a pullover took place. It took that idiot too long to realize it, but eventually he realized the flashing lights right behind him was to signal that HE should pull over. As I drove by, I literally lol'ed. That filled my heart with much mirth and joy!

I actually opened Christmas presents on Christmas Eve. The gifts were the usual; some giftcards, money, and clothing such as pajamas. It was good times, along with Christmas Day, where a big meal was had with my parents and some relatives. It was nice seeing them. In the evening I decided to go to Friendly Confines to watch the Bears play against the Packers. As they were open and offering up alcohol, I figured that was a good idea. And I was correct. Instead of listening to the football or even the Magic game, it was jukebox time there. If I would have had any small bills, some songs would have been picked by me. However, a lot of the selections I was fine with, so I can’t complain. It was a lot of rock songs (both modern and older), some rap songs which made me laugh due to how bad they were, and other things, such as rap songs I hadn’t heard since my days of going to college at Illinois State University, and yes, a dubstep song. If you don’t recognize that dance genre, it’s the “hip” thing these days and it has a lot of bass. You can go explore online for a better definition. The songs and eating some food and consuming some drinks was more interesting than the game. The new Bears QB was certainly better than Caleb Hanie, but that isn’t any tremendous achievement by any means. After a slow start, the Packers showed why they’re the best team in the NFL now and it took Chicago some garbage points at the very end to get the score to be as close as 35-21. As I was expecting Green Bay to win, I wasn’t that disappointed by the loss. To think that already, the Chicago game this upcoming Sunday the 1st is the last game of the season. It really flew by.

Then again, 2011 really did fly by for me. At least it was better than 2010, and that’s pretty much all I have to say about that. I have no idea how 2012 will turn out; hopefully things will become more exciting/interesting for me. As for my next blog on the 2nd, I’ll likely be lame and stay home for New Years Eve. At least I’ll be out to watch the big UFC pay per view on Friday night (I’ll be rooting for Brock Lesnar) and I’ll also be watching the last Bears game; so, I’ll have a few things to write about.

Monday, December 19, 2011

The Blog Where I Wonder Why The Chicago Bears Are So Terrible Now

Here’s what I’ve done this past week. There isn’t too much to say about the week before you get to the weekend. I know that’s the usual, but it has to be said again this time.

The only real interesting thing I did was on Tuesday night, which was use up that coupon from Planet Smoothie (as I explained in the last blog, I literally got a page of coupons from a random stranger). I got one and it was tasty. Otherwise I laid low, as I wanted to make sure I whipped the slight illness I had, which I finally was able to.

Friday was when I was able to do something interesting. I had the evening free so for the first time in awhile I visited the Mall at Millenia. For the most part it was the same old same old there. For the first time in a long while, I got a cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. It was their Key Lime Pie Cheesecake, which is pretty fantastic. I had dinner in the mall but not at the CF… not too surprisingly, that place was packed on a Friday night. Instead I ate at their food court at a locale called the Gourmet Grille. I actually had not had food there before. After having their burger and fries (I know, my “almost always”), which I thought were alright-enough but the price was the biggest selling point, I finally tried for the first time Chick-Fil-A’s peppermint chocolate milkshake. I heard correctly from some sources… that treat is tremendous and now I wish I would have had it in the past.

Saturday was boring so I’ll fill some time as I don’t want this to be too short of a blog. In the past week I experienced two more occasions where I had to use my horn and otherwise get angry at drivers when I wasn’t that far from home. Doing such a thing wasn’t the most prudent thing to do but I was mad and they deserved it! Plus, nothing came from it so even better for me. Hopefully when I’m out on the road this upcoming week things will not be so hairy. One day in particular will have a good amount of driving but I’ll mention what I did in the next blog to leave you in suspense.

Yesterday, it was going out to see an early and a late afternoon football game. The early game I saw at good old Friendly Confines. It was the Chicago Bears against the Seattle Seahawks, and I tell you, not expecting the team to win makes their eventual shitting of the bed not so bad. If only some of my fellow Bears fans would have done the same thing… yeah, I heard some pissing and moaning from those guys and I just rolled my eyes.

Then again there were some fans of other teams who were whining and crying and I got tired of it rather quick. While some of it was understandable, otherwise it sounded like a big dog howling non-stop. I mean, yelling at the TV for the player to “run” or “pass the ball” or “make a tackle you f****** idiots”… real helpful there. We all needed to hear those wise and intelligent bon mots! It’s not like the players could hear what those oafs were saying, despite what they may think. As for the actual game, another big Bears player got hurt early on but the first half was still fine, until they totally crapped themselves and they lose 38-14. I wasn’t expecting the score to be that bad! Caleb Hanie… he sucks, plain and simple. As a Bears fan I actually have to look longingly at the days where we had “great” QB’s like Henry Burris, Jonathan Quinn, and Moses Moreno. That’s not a good thing.

To answer what I asked in the title of this blog, the reason why the Bears suck now is that key players keep on getting hurt, and Hanie should never start another NFL game ever again. Good job Bears management in getting a quality backup for Jay Cutler.

After the game was over with I drove back to Clermont and went to the local Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the game between the New England Patriots and the Denver Broncos. It turns out, not even the great Tebow can lead his team to victory when they make quite a few stupid mistakes, so the Patriots ended up winning by quite a bit. I was hoping for something more competitive, but alas. I was outside watching the game. I imagine the atmosphere would have been rowdier inside, but again, alas. At least while I was outside I could look at all the pickup trucks parked at the place and think it has NOTHING to do with all the trashy people around, including people swearing around little children.

So yes, the previous week I had was rather boring. When I post my next blog the day after Christmas, I’ll have more to talk about, including the Bears game against the hated Packers on Christmas Day, a day of travel, and some other things.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Whatcha Gonna Do When TEBOWAMANIA Runs Wild On You?

No matter what the outcome of the game between the Bears and Broncos was going to be, I was going to title this blog in such a colorful manner. Even after how the game turned out… yeah, I do have a few things to say about it.

My Tuesday through Friday weren’t too exciting. Really, the only highlights were me going to Walmart to get some items (and no kidding, I spotted an old guy with giant sideburns that stuck out; the best comparison I can come up with is Martin Van Buren! Honest. In fact, I’m talking about the picture you see of MVB if you look him up on the White House’s official site, that’s how out of control his hair was) and an evening visit to good old Planet Smoothie to consume their gingerbread smoothie, which was pretty good. That’s about it for highlights. I laid low. I won’t say too much about the weather, except that for a day or two there it was relatively chilly. I don’t know if that had anything to do with me feeling slightly under the weather or not. At least I have the proper medicine to combat that.

Oh, and while I’ll miss Space Case and her shorty-shorts, at least at Planet Smoothie I saw someone else wear shorty-shorts, which I usually won’t complain about.

So, I’ll skip ahead to the weekend. Saturday, the only thing I did was go to the local Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the latest UFC pay per view. Most of the fights were pretty good (and I got to see pretty much all of them through various means) so I won’t carp about that. There wasn’t too many people there when I got there early but during the show it became pretty busy. It turns out that a lot of people are interested in Jon Bones Jones, for good reason. The crowd wasn’t hot starting out… the last three main fights, though, they were pretty hot and there were some larger than usual reactions to some notable moments that happened in said bouts. As in the past I’ve known people not to watch UFC events right away but rather watch them a day or two after, I’ll be vague and say that one fight had a real gruesome injury. You couldn’t really see it in real time; on the replays, though… everyone went “OOOHHHH!” in horror, me included. That was pretty graphic.

Now, onto Sunday, and something that I imagine at least one or two people are waiting for me to discuss. Before I even get to the events at Friendly Confines, I’ll mention that my journey there and back included experiencing some horrific drivers, including rather soon after I left home. That didn’t help my moot right there. I mean, it was one of those cases where I couldn’t figure out what in the bloody hell the driver was doing; usually I have some sort of idea. There was at least one nice thing to say about the drive. On the way there I stopped at Planet Smoothie again, this time to consume their Apple Crunch drink, which I also enjoy quite a bit. Some random woman in front of me in line had a newspaper page full of coupons for the place (that’s something they’ve done before, and I’ve taken advantage of that). She asked if I wanted the rest of the page, and I said yes without any hesitation. I used one and as they expire in a few days, I’ll go back there this week to use another one. I did thank that woman; sad to say this sort of kindness isn’t always easily found in Florida.

Now, onto the game. It was the Chicago Bears against the Denver Broncos, led by the hugely-hyped Tim Tebow. As of late, the joke in various online circles is that Tebow is just like Hulk Hogan in his heyday, in that if you don’t remember Hogan’s matches too well, the bad guy would beat on him for awhile before hitting a big move… but Hogan kicked out and then got to his knees and shook while the opponent’s blows had no effect on him, then got up and did some punches, a big foot to the face and then a legdrop, to state it in a quick manner. TEBOWAMANIA is an appropriate term as he has started 8 games this season and is 7-1. Literally in all 7 of the wins, he started off playing not so good to terrible only to Hulk Up in the 4th quarter and suddenly play a lot better and that allowed Denver to come back and win. I mean, that’s unprecedented stuff and yet despite that the Bears have looked so terrible the past few weeks I thought there’d be no need for another Tebow Hulking Up.

I was wrong.

The majority of the game was rather poor from both teams. I mean, I was happy I could watch some other NFL games at the same time. During much of the game I didn’t hear too much from the Tebowaholics or whatever the fanbase would like to call themselves. Then suddenly, the Bears were leading 10-0 and up to about 5 minutes left in the 4th quarter, things were going fine and I was hoping there’d be no Hulking Up. But, things went awry. That indeed did happen and suddenly it was 10-7. As he was slicing and dicing the Bears D, I got the sinking feeling in my stomach of “Oh… no. It’s happening!” But, Chicago got the ball back and likely would have won… if not for Chicago player Marion Barber being a damned idiot and doing something really stupid. That allowed for Tebow to continue the comeback and suddenly the game was tied after a monster field goal. To my surprise there was a HUGE reaction to the field goal. I mean, there were many more Tebow fans than Bears fans at the Chicago-themed sports bar/restaurant, much to my consternation. Me thinks there’s some fair weather fans… and I tell you, one reason why there’s a segment that can’t stand Tebow (aside from the nonstop slobbering of him that has taken place for many years by this point) is that the fanbase tends to be happy to LOUDLY brag about how great of a guy he is and how he’s a True American Hero and other such hyperbole. It gets old.

Anyway, thus, the game went into overtime, and I did not have high hopes for the Bears winning. I was proven correct, as Barber did another really stupid thing, in this case coughing up the ball and giving it to Denver. Some plays were run and after another monster field goal, the Broncos won, many of the people there went batshit crazy, while the Bears fans walked out with sullen looks on their faces. I’m sure my facial expression wasn’t too different. That last drive was the big boot and then the legdrop. I was happy to get away from the crowing and bragging Tebow fans, as I heard it off and on since I got there around 3:20. Having to listen to that for about 4 hours straight… not fun.

To give an analogy, Denver was Hulk Hogan, the Bears were a big bad heel like, say, King Kong Bundy and Marion Barber was the inept heel manager (in this case Bobby “The Brain” Heenan”) whose interference backfired a few times and that was a big reason why Hogan was able to win. That win for Denver really stings; I mean, that’s a legendarily bad loss for Chicago. I don’t know if they’ll even win another game the rest of the season. Meanwhile, for the Tebows, next week they have to go against big bad New England, which is like Hogan wrestling Andre the Giant. As I saw someone saw on Twitter last night say and I’ve heard before, there’s the possibility that the Super Bowl will be Denver vs. an undefeated Green Bay Packers. I would not be shocked if it happened given how things have been going. And I would have to become a Tebowaholic!

I’ll be back a week from today. Not much is on the agenda but I’m sure I’ll do some things worth writing about.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Stories Concerning Stacy Keach, A Roadtrip to Jacksonville, & Space Cases

OK, so I didn’t see the *real* Stacy Keach. Rather, it was a dude who looked like him in his younger days. I’d say it was after he was Sgt. Stedenko but before he was Cameron Alexander in American History X.

I’ll warn you right now this will be a lengthy blog, due in part to what I did yesterday.

This was another week where there isn’t too much to write about until you get to the weekend, and in this case, yesterday. The reason why I didn’t post this yesterday is that last night I did something for the first time: attend an NFL game. It’s funny, I’ve been to baseball, college and pro basketball, college football, arena football, and other sports, but I’ve never attended an NFL game live and in person. I can’t really tell you why that’s the case; it just so happened this was the time I finally decided to do so, and the game was in Jacksonville, a city I haven’t visited in a few years. More on that later.

There really isn’t much to say at all about Monday through Thursday, except that on Wednesday there was a quick trip to the dentist. I’m fine, but I got to enjoy some good old nitrous oxide. As I’ve said before (and was proven in The Hangover Part 2) your local dentist has access to some great drugs! Friday I went to the Sand Lake Road area to check out the Barnes & Noble they have there (I picked up an item or two) then I once again enjoyed the greatness that is the peppermint yogurt at Pinkberry; you should get it like how it’s recommended, which is with some goodies like melted chocolate and white chocolate pieces. That’s highly recommended.

My Saturday was dull. I just stayed in and watched some college football. Sunday was when the excitement started; well, maybe that’s not the best word, as that day proved to be not the best, and I’m not just talking about the Bears game. As usual I went to Friendly Confines to watch Chicago play. They played against the mediocre Kansas City Chiefs; both teams had to play their backup QB’s due to injuries. Speaking of that, Chicago’s star workhorse running back Matt Forte hurt his knee early in the game, and he was out for the rest of it… and the next few weeks too. That was a crushing moment.

The game itself… WOW. I’ve thought for a long time that a Sunday Night Football game back in late ’02 between the Bears and the Tampa Bay Bucs was the worst game I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I’m not sure about it but this Bears-Chiefs game may have topped that. Aside from some cool moments it was just terrible to watch. The final score was 10-3 Chiefs and if it wasn’t for a fluke touchdown that Kansas City got at the end of the first half the game would have gone into overtime tied 3-3! Not helping matters was the fact that there were some real loudmouths around. Not a great experience overall. I’ll still be there Sunday afternoon when the Bears have to play the Denver Broncos. A few weeks ago I thought the game wouldn’t be so bad but now, I think it’ll be God-awful to watch in various ways and I don’t even think Tim Tebow will do his usual and start off badly only to Hulk up and give them a big boot and legdrop. Yes, I’ve heard some people online say that about Tebow and compare him to Hulk Hogan in his big comebacks. TEBOWAMANIA, in other words. Man, having a lot of Bears fans and fans of the former Gator QB there… what an atmosphere it could be.

I didn’t head straight home. I stopped at the Premiere Cinemas at the Fashion Square Mall to watch Immortals 3D. I hadn’t been to that nice Cineplex in far too long and I heard the 3D film looked rather nice in that format. It does, and while the story isn’t anything special at least it’s entertaining macho fun.

Yesterday, I had quite the day trip as I went up to Jacksonville to watch the Jaguars play against the San Diego Chargers. Both teams had poor records, but I decided to go to that game rather than a Bucs or Dolphins game as I hadn’t been to that part of Florida in a few years (not that there’s too much for me to do in that area), there’s been stories for years about how it’s possible the team will move to another city-so I might as well watch them when I can-and I was hoping the game would be close. That last part was incorrect but I still ended up having a good time at my first-ever live NFL game.

The drive there and back was uneventful. On the way there I took the scenic route via such roads as 19 and 17. The scenery was nice and for part of the way I hardly dealt with any traffic at all. When I did… there were some nincompoops. I also spent a few minutes in Georgia in order to look for things that I can’t buy in the central area of Florida. I am mostly talking about such geeky things as sodas and energy drinks. I did find some things I can’t find around Clermont, so mission accomplished there. I had dinner at some restaurant I found out about awhile ago… I just don’t remember how I stumbled upon it. After hearing at Smashburger, I have to say their namesake isn’t shabby but it’s awfully greasy and messy to eat. They do have a cinnamon milkshake that is pretty tasty, though.

Now, onto the game. Trying to figure out where to park wasn’t as clear as crystal, unfortunately. I had to follow some cars that appeared to know what they were doing. I was right as I stumbled upon a parking lot that was literally in a park. Having to pay 30 dollars was an unpleasant surprise. I walked to the stadium, saw what the cheapest tickets were then I thought, “Oh yeah, THAT is why I haven’t been to a pro football game before.” 65 bucks… yikes. Still, I paid and I walked up to the 400 level. At least it was a nice cool night with a light breeze.

The game started off badly for the Jaguars. They were a lot better for most of the second quarter but fell apart and they were awful for the second half. That allowed for San Diego to win 38-14. While I wish the game would have been closer, at least it wasn’t boring. As for the fans there, there were a surprising number of Chargers fans around. I had no idea. While there were a good number of empty seats around at least the people there were into the game. I could have done without some of the whininess I heard, at least I do understand somewhat why they would be frustrated with a team that has been average the past few years and now is pretty poor this year. They didn’t seem to mind that their coach got fired last week but a lot of people were excited they have a new owner that’s supposed to take over soon, a Mr. Khan. I wasn’t sure how people would like him; I don’t like saying it but he was born in Pakistan and I could imagine some white trash fans not liking him just for that reason. However, a lot of people were sporting fake mustaches a la their new owner and had signs and t-shirts proclaiming their love for him. They were also nice to their current owner, so that’s good.

Here’s some more fan-related things:

• Of course I saw some fan with a sign and said Chargers fan was one of millions in the U.S. who seems to be unfamiliar with the term “you’re”, given that they never use it even when they’re supposed to. Also of course, I know people in person who don’t know the difference between the two!
• Halftime was pretty neat. Not really for the BMX-related stunts I saw, but rather that they handed out they Styrofoam stick things which actually lit up in a blue color, so the lights were out for halftime and the image of all those blue sticks in the crowd was pretty neat.
• Unfortunately there were some whiny fans by me. My theory concerning me attracting the worst people is proven true again. A lot of people left before the game was over and I can’t really blame them. It was a Monday night contest and all. I stayed the entire time. Given the high cost I wanted to try and get as much out of it as I could.
• THE moment of the night was in the second half when I heard some jackass braying to people that they shouldn’t be leaving before the game’s over with. So, who do I see leave early in the 4th quarter? Why, that braying fan and his family! I swear this actually took place.
• The highlight in terms of fans there was a young lady who had a personalized Jaguars jersey. When I saw it said “Space Case” I thought, “Uh oh. This could be trouble.” However, this woman was just plain wacky and strange… and in a good way! I never saw her drank booze or ingest any sorts of substances, so she’s just naturally that out there, which is even better. While I could understand how some people wouldn’t like her, all she did was be wacky and try to get the section pumped up for big plays no matter what the score was. She was just fascinating to watch and she was hilarious too. In the 4th quarter when things were going bad she completely went bonkers. She was dancing often and she literally was ROFL when the Jacksonville QB was running with the ball and for no reason at all he just dropped the ball. A lot of people aren’t happy with that QB, and this year they REALLY wish that they could experience TEBOWAMANIA by him being a Jaguar. Anyhow, Space Case doesn’t have model looks but with that kind of personality… I’m sure she’d be great to party with!

Anyhow, what a long, long day I had. I am glad that it only took a few minutes to get out of the parking lot; that said, I still didn’t get back home until after 2:30 AM. I have no idea when I’ll attend my next NFL game. It’d be neat to see the Bears play live… OK, not the Bears of today, but you get what I’m saying.

I’ll be back Monday the 12th. I’ll watch the latest UFC show at Buffalo Wild Wings and I’ll also talk about my experience with Chicago fans meeting up with TEBOWAMANIA fans.