Yep, I’m quoting a line from Blondie’s Rapture. It’s more than overtired by now, but when I heard all that nonsense about The Rapture coming on Saturday, I always thought of the Blondie song. Needless to say, I never believed it was going to happen. That dumbass reverend never showed any proof of his calculations so you knew he was a false prophet, and while I think the whole thing is funny, I do feel sort of bad for the suckers who actually believed him and gave up all their possessions and that sort of jazz.
But, as for what I did in the past week, I’ll explain it in this lengthy blog; it’s only a few things, as otherwise I laid low and didn’t do much at all. What I did, though, was interesting. Monday, I went to the Dr. Phillips area and while I was in a parking lot, I came too close to comfort to getting run over by a truck driver (but of course) in a parking lot, as he was driving like a real Troglodyte. Typical Floridian. My Tuesday through Thursday had nothing of note, so I’ll skip ahead to Friday.
I won’t go into the details but I had to return to Miami to take care of some business. No, it wasn’t anything bad at all; I am just not going to mention what the details were for me being there. Unless something pops up, the next time I’ll be down there will be at least a year from now. I’d like to see a game at the new baseball stadium for the Florida Marlins, which will be open by that time. While I was down there for a too-long day trip, among the things I did was visit the Aventura Mall, the Sawgrass Mills Mall, and I stopped to eat at some places I hadn’t been to before and they don’t have up around Orlando or Tampa.
I’ll mention what I want to mention in chronological order. I ended up in the Miami Beach area. Yeah, I was in Miami… bitch. I know, the later I bring up that song lyric, the less relevant it will be. Anyhow, I ended up at a place I found out just a few days before. It’s a joint that started up in New York relatively recently known as the Shake Shack. I stumbled upon an article which compared their burgers to Five Guys and even the cult favorite known as In-N-Out. They compared the three but it was a garbage article as it required flying out the burger from the west on an airplane to the east coast (!) and it was crap, although they did like the Shake Shack one the best. Me, I had it with a shake and the burger was good, but I don’t know if it was the best I ever had. The shake was quality, though. I then drove to the Aventura Mall as I hadn’t been there for almost 2 years. It was pretty much the way I remembered it, but it was nice as something different. I was there when I found out that Macho Man Randy Savage had passed away. I was at the Apple Store and got on a computer to look something up, when I stumbled upon that bit of news, and it was quite the shock to me, and it made me sad, as he was definitely a beloved figure from back when I was a kid and pro wrestling was actually great to watch rather than the mostly unwatchable horse droppings it has become now. I loved watching him in his prime, his wacky and LOUD persona sticking out even in those wacky WWF days of old.
After that, I ate at a restaurant mainly in Pittsburgh but they have some branches in South Florida, including close by the Sawgrass Mills Mall. It’s Primanti Bros. Restaurant, most famous for wacky sandwiches which feature both cole slaw and French fries *in the sandwich itself*. To me, yuck! I don’t like cole slaw anyhow, and French fries combined with sandwiches is not for me. I had a burger and fries there (but of course) and they tasted good. I then spent some time at the mall before driving back home. Man, was that a long day. While at that mall, I did stop by Armani Exchange and I got a shirt there. Technically, it was one of their outlet stores, so I didn’t spend an arm and a leg there. The shirt I got (white and it has red and blue all over in a cool design) was only 20 bucks, so I considered that a steal, as it looked cool and it would fit well for going to hip places like the nights I go out to see the UFC or downtown Orlando.
It turns out that all the driving I did wasn’t as stressful as when I was down there last month. In fact, Saturday night was worse… while I was in Miami Beach I saw such vehicles as the BMW X5 M and X6 (SUV’s that cost close to 100 grand when new), an Aston Martin coupe, a Ferrari convertible-red, naturally-a Tesla Roadster (a fancy car that goes fast… and happens to be all-electric! I had never seen one in the wild before), a Rolls-Royce Phantom made from within the past few years-and may have been driven by Pitbull! Yes, the Miami rapper. It could have been him, based on his looks, and he certainly could afford one of those. Seeing cars that fancy in that part of Florida isn’t rare.
Saturday night, on a whim I decided to go out and return to good old Mako’s, as I was able to and I don’t know when I will be able to return there next. I went out and from where I left (it wasn’t in my neighborhood… or was it?) I have to wait at a gate for it to open before driving through. It’s the deal where it’s in two and they meet in the middle. In this particular case, only the right side of the gate opens up and there’s a clear site on the left part of the gate which neatly explains this… of course I come across a mental midget in front of me who was acting like they’d both open, as if it was the gates of a palace opening up to welcome him in. Well, he was too stupid to figure out why the gate wasn’t opening (he needed to be on the right side only for it to work) so instead of honking or jumping out of the car to pound on his window, I squeezed through to the area where it opens, and then once I did I went through; it’s not like there was room for that moron to go through first. Well, he got obviously butthurt that I embarrassed him and put a clownsuit on him, as briefly he was driving like he wanted to start something with me. I could have played along but that could have resulted in something real bad, so I instead ignored him and while it meant I had a little longer drive than planned to get there, I lost that asshole. So, I win. A little later, I saw a surprising sight. I was on the Stonybrook West Parkway, not too far away from getting on 429 and then the Turnpike. I was by the Whispering Oak Elementary School, and going the other way was a big one car accident (it wasn’t the idiot I dealt with earlier in this block of text… unfortunately). Somehow, the car jumped the curb and went flying into a huge fence where the posts are made of stone columns. As expected, that car was totaled and I have no possible idea how that accident happened, as it happened just past a stop light.
As for my time at Mako’s this time, there’s only a few things to mention… I still had a lot of fun there, though, despite…
• The major thing I’ll remember from the night is that the A/C there ended up being on the fritz so it ended up being hotter than a son of a bitch there. I felt like I was sweating as if I was James Best in Rolling Thunder (or to use a more modern example, most of the cast in Predator). I consumed beer to cool off, and while I’m there I usually have to use the men’s room a few times. This time, it happened only once. I’ll presume that I sweated out much of the booze I had drank.
• The theme of the night… lesbians! I’m not just talking about those of the “lipstick” variety, although I did see that happen right before I left, which is leaving on a high note. I then saw one of the two girls kiss a dude, so yeah, she isn’t a real lesbian. I did see some legit ones, though, and one of them provided a rather lol moment, at least for me. That lesbian passed by a straight girl, and immediately thereafter the straight girl yelled, “Ahhh! That lesbian just groped me!” I was quite surprised to hear that.
Actually, come to think of it that’s about it for highlights there. Sure, I saw and heard a near-fight happen amongst some people I would put in the “bro” category, it otherwise was not the most eventful time there… but I still had a lot of fun with the usual wackiness and fanatical sights and sounds there.
When I do my next blog a week from today on Memorial Day, I know I’ll talk about the latest UFC pay per view and I may see a movie or two and do other things involving going out and about.
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