Another Blog Post That Has Been Rated “R”

Note, that R rating mainly applies to the second part of the blog, but the first part has some vulgarity too.

Sometime last year I did a blog post that I had rated “R”; why I did it I’m not quite sure, and I wish that those MySpace blogs were as easy to search as they used to be so that I could track it down and read it to remember what I said that would make it vulgar, but alas…

So, I ended up not doing too much on Sunday, so most of this deals with Saturday the 14th. I went to Sanford to see a wrestling show that would also pay tribute to Mr. Mark Meister, the person who I wrote about in the last blog post I did on Saturday. I want to mention right away that the most important part of the show is how well they paid tribute to him (many of the people involved with the event were friends with him, so such things as “match quality” means Jack Shit given the circumstances; he passed away about 48 hours before the event started, after all) and they did indeed do a great job of paying tribute to him. There was a 10 bell salute to him to start off the show (something common at wrestling shows when someone dies), only in this case it was a 19 bell salute. There was a seat left empty for him, a shirt of his placed on it. A few other nice gestures were done, and I give everyone credit for putting on this show with this sort of situation happening to them. I could tell some of the performers were pretty Goddamn upset during the event, but that’s more than understandable, and even though I was surprised at some of the things I saw, I won’t carp about it either. I am glad I went to that show; I was thinking about attending it anyway, but after I heard about 19 passing away, it was a must for me to attend this, and it was a good choice on my part. It was also nice to see some familiar faces there and chat with them.

Before the show, I drove up to Sanford and spent some time at their mall and then ate dinner at a nearby McDonalds. Rather mundane.

After the show, I went… to downtown Orlando! Yep, Mako’s, as it’s been far too long since I’ve paid patronage there. For the most part it was the usual greatness there with scantily clad women being around, most of the employees in various stages of undress, wacky games, loud music, shit being thrown about, and whatnot. So, I’ll mention a few important things, including the rather incredible final 45 or so minutes I spent there.

• They decided to make Saturday night “Bachelorettes Night”, and their new gimmick is that each bride-to-be gets a t-shirt with a checklist on the back and if they do all the activities on it (no, it’s not like a scavenger hunt) then they get a free bottle of champagne. Pretty nifty.
• Also nifty is that the area I have spent a lot of time in throughout the years-the back area known as the Pentagon Bar-is now totally changed. It is a lot more space-efficient, sure, but I will miss how it used to look.
• The emcee was fine, although at one point he mentioned the phrase “Cleveland Steamer”. The crowd audibly groaned, along with me. That’s just gross. If you don’t know what a Cleveland Steamer is… it’s really for the best! It’s a very disgusting thing.
• I saw a former employee there as a guest. No, not the long-time employee who quit last summer. Rather, it was another dame. She was with her boyfriend-a big dude, too-so I only briefly chatted with her, but it was still nice to see her.
• As a side note that will become relevant in a moment, in the past few months I’ve heard some colorful terms be used to describe when a guy is “excited”. They include “potato in your pants” and “from 6 to 12”, which I don’t think need any further explanation. The former reminds me of the old joke involving stuffing a cucumber down your pants and the punchline being, “You’re supposed to put it in the FRONT of your pants!”
• The highlight of the night for me was all the action on the stage, where you commonly see the female guests to this place get up on there and shaking their wares to all the males there. I’ve enjoyed looking at that stage hundreds of times before. This time, I decided to be a real pervert and get right up to the stage so that I could get the best view. Hey, I see it as the girls are doing it to get attention, so I’d satisfy them by happily looking on. Speaking of satisfy… oh wait, I better stop that thought process.
• What I said about potatoes and 6 to 12 applied here… there were some fantastic-looking ladies up there, most of them dressed in tiny dresses. The highlight, at least in terms of wanting attention (which she clearly got from the other guys near the stage!) was a young Latina lady who wore tiny leather shorts and thigh-high black stockings. Really. She really worked it, posing in a rather trampy manner, to state it bluntly. I still looked, sure, but the way that young lady was acting, not really a girl to bring home to mom and dad… well, maybe dad won’t complain, but you know what I mean! Just judging her by the way she acted here, not a virtuous girl… although fun to hang out with, I imagine.

So yeah, I stayed there until they closed at 2AM, then I made the drive home. I had a lot of fun there, as you can see.

Sunday was rather boring (I was damn tired so I decided to stay in and not do anything fun in the late night), but I did go to the grocery store to get a few items. I was in the section where they sell shampoo and body wash, and saw that Axe, the company that markets itself as the source of the aphrodisiac that will help men get some tits & ass, released yet another new product. Now, I use their stuff. I’m sure some smartasses will come up with some pithy comments from the peanut gallery, but it’s actually because they have a wide variety of interesting products, and the newest one I got is called “Thai Massage”! Really now. Talk about playing up (or down) to stereotypes about Asian massage parlors and “Happy Endings” and what have you.

In a reference that the people reading this who live or lived in my old hometown of Belvidere, Illinois should get, there was (and still is! I know that from doing a Google search) a massage parlor in Belvidere known as C’est La Vie that offers up more than just a massage of your back and shoulders… for an extra price. You know, the Clarence Carter song “Strokin’” and all that.

Of course, I haven’t been there-if you don’t know, I’ll just say it would have a REAL bad idea for me to check it out at the time I still lived in Illinois-but I know someone who told me one night that he went there in the past and it’s exactly what you’d expect, where a regular massage is done first then for some more money some “extra” stuff can be done. I believe the guy said he refused the offer, but around Belvidere, that place has quite a bit of infamy and I’m sure other people I know have paid a visit to it before.

So, with this tawdry blog done and other with, I’ll tell you that my next one, which should be posted next Monday, will be a return to my normal and not so raunchy self.