The “Bartholomew Suarez” in question is the name of the 'bot that sent me a spam e-mail; the name is so preposterous it made me laugh and I had to use it for the title of this. Now, Monday the 7th I went to the Sweetbay supermarket to get some items. I also went to their deli section to pick up a sandwich; there was a real Honey Boo Boo-esque family around. Their sandwiches aren't as great as in part they don't use Boar's Head products; still, it tasted good. In the evening I watched the college football national championship game; I didn't really care which team won. At least this year's game was more exciting than last year's. To everyone's surprise the game was not close and instead was a laugher of a blow-out.
Tuesday, the real highlight... I got hit on by a girl who was almost half my age! I went to Planet Smoothie and I got a limited edition beverage there; it was based on apple. There's another one which I'll try the next time I am there. It is peanut butter and banana and oddly enough it's called Hanz & Franz, after that goofy Saturday Night Live sketch from many years ago. A pass was made to me by a girl working there, but not the lady I mentioned last month who works there that had on microscopic shorts and was showing off cleavage. She was there, but had on more appropriate clothing. Instead it was another lady working there; judging by her looks and her braces, I am quite confident she was under 18. She complimented me on my shirt and I thanked her; I left it at that as of course I am not a pervert.
Wednesday I went to Walt Disney World as I had free time and I wanted to try out their new attractions. At Epcot they have a totally redesigned Test Track which reopened last month, and also last month the latest part of the new Fantasyland opened. What a day of ups and downs. I talked about it on Twitter but I won't spent much time on the idiots I encountered there. Sure, you always see dumb people there, but on this day... having to sit on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride while you have Troglodytes right behind you YELLING AND SCREAMING constantly when they're sitting right next to each other... I wanted to throw them overboard!
I parked at Epcot and I used the monorail to go to the Magic Kingdom and back. Test Track, the design of the ride surprised me. It was 80's-riffic! It was all dark in there with bright neon colors... it was awesome. It was as if someone drank some brightly colored liquids and vomited all over the Tron universe... the original 80's film, not that crappy sequel from a few years ago. The interactive aspect, though... FAIL. While waiting in line there is a touchscreen where you pick one of four traits you like the most in a car (like power or efficiency) then you pick one of eight differently-colored cars. Sounds simple, right? Well, they went out of their way to make it a confused mess. You get a plain white card you swipe; it's blank on both sides, which helps muddy things. All along the way things that should be explained/clarified were never explained or clarified; I was disappointed in that as you expect much more from Disney, you know... it doesn't help that the first time I did it, it did not work; I went on it a second time and finally it worked, but despite the ride looking cool as hell, I felt let down as the advertisement I heard for the reworked ride was definitely more than it actually was; after all, what you get for picking out a certain vehicle... a few times, bogus stats are put up on a screen on how your car did! That's it.
The new Fantasyland... the new circus area only added the moved-over Dumbo ride, a circus tent that actually is a den for selling merchandise, and another tent for character meet-ups. But hey, the whole theme is well-done and cool. There also is a new area based on The Little Mermaid and Beauty & The Beast. From what I saw it looked fine. I had dinner at a random eatery in the Magic Kingdom but I had something to drink from the new area; I haven't had Universal's “butterbeer” based off of Harry Potter but I presume this apple juice (and other ingredients, like marshmallow) concoction is similar. Overall, even with the ups and downs, at least it was a really nice day on this day with perfect weather.
Thursday, the only thing of note I did was go to Burger King. What a foolish thing for me to do as in the past year or so I had several problems at different Burger King's. But, mainly I wanted something from their Coca Cola Freestyle machine (it ended up being strawberry Sprite mixed with a little bit of vanilla Sprite) so I was a fool and went to one. The food itself tasted good and the order wasn't screwed up; it's just that it took forever to make. Even the manager was yelling at his staff for being so damn slow. That place, it really fell off in recent years; I will never get over them changing their tasty chicken tenders and instead serving poor-tasting wannabe Chicken McNuggets. Why did that whole franchise turn to crap in the pas few years?
Also, late that night I tried to go to bed but I then woke up and I channel-surfed for something to look at on TV while I listened to something on the computer. On WGN was The Bill Cunningham Show. It's a standard talk show a la Maury where couple argue with each other and what have you. The host is an older gentleman who looks kind of goofy to begin with but the way he acted I swore at first it was a parody talk show, a la Night Stand with Dick Dietrick. Now, that I hadn't thought of in years and I had to look it up to get the title right, but I certainly remembered it being on in the late 90's. Of course, most talk shows like that are as phony and staged as Night Stand was, but that's another topic for another time. Anyhow, The Bill Cunningham Show is apparently legit, even though these days there needs to be a return of a parody trashy sleazy talk show.
Friday was nothing-happening so let me skip ahead to Saturday. In the evening I returned to Splitsville to watch more football, have some more food, and enjoy their beverages. I stuck around long enough upstairs to hear some music spun by a live DJ. It was the standard mix of older and newer songs, mashups, and remixes. It was cool, at least while drinking alcohol. At times it almost reminded me of good old Mako's... sigh. I can say via some patron at the bar admitting they know this song, for the first time I heard a One Direction song in full. It was catchy, at least, and certainly less offensive than most “popular” music these days. The Humpty Dance was also played, and this made me happy.
Sunday, I watched more football and that was about it. As for the next blog I'll be posting a week from today, I should finally be going to a theatre at least once, so that is nice as I haven't been to one in too long. I should have enough to talk about for what will be posted on Martin Luther King Day.
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