The Housemaid, Mercy, Conan the Barbarian, Cold Storage, Crime 101, Sholay, & Send Help

On the eve of me turning FORTY-FIVE (!) I will catch up on what I’ve seen theatrically since December that hasn’t been mentioned by me yet. First, I’ll mention one from December: Cinemark played the 1975 Indian movie classic Sholay, something I’ve seen before. Cinema in India has a rich history for many decades and many languages-for that to be arguably the most impactful in their history says a lot. The movie is a lot of fun, a version of the Japanese movie The Seven Samurai, best known in the United States for being remade as The Magnificent Seven. Yes, even Indian movies back then had song-and-dance numbers and are very long.

One evening I saw The Housemaid; no, it wasn’t because I wanted to see either Sydney Sweeney and/or Amanda Seyfried on the big screen. Rather, because I knew this was a surprise hit and heard it was like a tawdry trashy movie from the past. Yes, it was trashy fun (although not quite like an 80’s or 90’s sleazy movie) and was ridiculous; seeing Housemaid w/ a crowd helped, as it’s a movie designed to have people hooting and hollering at times, which some people definitely did.

That same night, I saw Mercy. The movie is as lousy and goofy as you probably heard. The idea of an AI legal system isn’t the worst, but the execution was just lacking. Not terrible or unwatchable, but even at home you probably won’t be satisfied unless you have the movie on as background noise. At least it is short.

One night at a Regal, I saw a revival screening of Conan the Barbarian; yes, the 80’s movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I’d seen Conan before but never on the big screen. The film is a blast, a classic engrossing tale for adults. Another night I saw Send Help; it being the type of movie that Sam Raimi used to make but hadn’t in decades plus the good reviews intrigued me. It’s a shame that the ending didn’t work for me (among other things, it felt too modern for a movie that otherwise felt retro) as the rest was a blast, the type of movie I wish we got more of.

The same goes for what I saw a few days ago. While flawed themselves, Cold Storage and Crime 101 are also films I prefer to what’s been clogging the cineplexes for many years now. Cold Storage is a silly horror-comedy you don’t want to scrutinize too hard yet was still a fun “killer fungus causes humans to explode” film with an overqualified cast, including Liam Neeson, who thankfully has moved on from his “old man action” movies and instead played an old man w/ a bad back, which of course is realistic.

Crime 101 was styled after a heist film from decades past; it wasn’t quite the same and I wish the dialogue didn’t turn into “F this” and “F that”; it being included in almost every sentence from Barry Keoghan wasn’t to my tastes. Otherwise, the movie was pretty good, echoing the sort of movies from the past I do enjoy… talented (and usually veteran) actors acting not against a green-screen but rather on actual sets and on location in Southern California—the title refers to Highway 101. Chris Hemsworth actually did a nice job. I feel bad the movie is a disappointment at the box office as flaws aside I was happy to support a film like Crime 101 that was made for adults.

I hope to return sometime in the first half of March.

Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith, Illinois State Redbirds, & Milano Cortina Winter Olympics

My apologies for not doing one of these as soon as I expected; January and February have been quiet in terms of new events or interesting experiences, at least that haven't been mentioned last month by me. There were two things I neglected to mention concerning January until now: how the Chicago Bears lost their playoff game (heartbreaking) and how the Illinois State Redbirds lost the NCAA FCS college football game against Montana State after an improbable run to the title game… it was just brutal and best left forgotten by me.

I have only revisited various spots/restaurants (such as Shake Shack) so nothing new there. I am disappointed to hear that every restaurant in the Bahama Breeze chain will shut down in a matter of days. I always enjoyed hearing there once in a blue moon since moving to Florida oh so many years ago, including not that long ago.

Thus, I’ll mention that I went to Walt Disney World twice, once at Epcot to tackle their annual Festival of the Arts and to Hollywood Studios to ride Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith one last time. It will close at the end of the month as during the summer it’ll be reopen w/ a Muppets theme. Now, while at Hollywood Studios I interacted w/ a rude employee. This is only mentioned in contrast to how much fun I otherwise had. After all, on the Millennium Falcon: Smuggler’s Run ride, one employee (Jo) did a great job in character, going above and beyond as me and the random group I was part of waited to board the ride. A unique experience was waiting in long for Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster… a random couple were by me and I was asked about the ride as the woman was concerned about it. She ended up chickening out but that may be for the best if coasters are really not her thing. They were still nice people.

Finally, I’ll mention that the Milano Cortina Winter Olympics have been a fun time and I’m sad they’ll end after Sunday. Nevermind the politics or how they’re broadcast (even on Peacock), it was still nice to see various sports I’m interested in while not spending as much time on others-bobsled, skeleton, and luge in particular are neat. There were nice stories, along with some wild ones; I was entertained.

I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon to finally catch up on all the theatrical movies I’ve seen this year that haven’t been mentioned yet.